“Happily ever after is not a fairytale. It’s a choice”
Prologue
Not all chocolate cake you find is amazing, incredible, or spectacular: some is horrendous, some just average, and some is unmemorable. But, then you find that one that literally changes your life. It makes you feel like you’re constantly on cloud 9, it makes you feel like nothing in the world could ever even try to compare, and it feels positively magical.
Sometimes I have the impulse to draw parallels between chocolate cake and healthy relationships. So, here we are.
In the hustle and bustle of modern life, building and maintaining meaningful relationships can be challenging. Whether it be romantic, platonic or familial, the key to developing a healthy relationship is understanding, communicating, and putting in enough intentional effort. This post tackles a common trend in the modern-day dating sphere and how relationships can further be improved so they can withstand the tests of time.
Relationship Churning
Relationship churning refers to instability in relationships: constantly breaking up and getting back together; aggressively in a churning motion - going back and forth and back and forth. Churning relationships are more prevalent among adolescents and young adults, in just a few days, they can lead to intense emotions such as love, anger, jealousy, grief, and anxiety.
Relationship churning has become consistently more common in our current day world. A reason that influences this change is the reduction of our attention span and the associated increase in the rate of getting bored. People are unable to devote enough attention and effort into singular relationships which is one of the reasons for people choosing to ‘take a break’ with their partner. The term ‘take a break’ is used as an undefined state where the couple isn’t broken up, i.e., they have the potential to get back together at some point soon, but they act as they would if they were single.
Other reasons for couples to be in the ‘on-and-off’ state are:
Life challenges: Maintaining the balance of a relationship and the demands of your life is difficult, which causes some couples to take a temporary break to sort their lives out before committing to one another again.
Incompatibility: Having great chemistry but not agreeing on some major issues can cause a couple to take a break, but eventually get back together due to the mutual attraction.
The grass wasn’t greener: If any of the involved parties wanted to date more casually or date someone else specifically, the couple could take a break or break up. This may not go as one wished which would lead to the couple coming back together.
History: Having history and shared experiences as a couple can influence a couple to get back together after breaking up because of the memories of the good times. Or, the couple could feel like they don’t want to waste all that time spent together and start over with someone new and get back together.
Communication and misunderstandings
Communicating is an age-old art. And, like any good art form, it is a complex puzzle left for us to decode.
Picture this: You have recently become friends or have gotten into a relationship with a new person. You don’t know their depths, they don’t know your intricacies.
You are basically strangers.
We often tend to keep our thoughts and opinions to ourselves to give a good impression to those we do not know. We suppress our true selves to cater to what we perceive another individual would like.
But this does not help in developing sustainable relationships; platonic, romantic, familial or anything in between and beyond. Lack of communication between all involved parties can lead to misunderstandings, which can further lead to lasting damage to the relationship. That is exactly why communication is key. In order to create healthy, stable relationships, one must talk about their needs, their wants and their feelings. What needs to be learned by people is that it is not selfish to talk about oneself at times.
The importance of open-mindedness
Being open-minded means that one is willing to try new things, take risks and learn more about the world around them. Open-mindedness is another integral component of creating a successful relationship:
It helps one understand their partner better especially when their personal opinions conflict. Open-mindedness also refers to a willingness to hear others out even if they do not think the same way as you do
One can better bond with a partner by being open to trying out the other person’s interests to find potential common interests and create a safe space to encourage one’s partner’s hobbies.
Being closed-minded can lead to misunderstandings, disagreements, and conflicts between people. Dismissing someone's opinions and feelings and implying that they are invalid or wrong can cause tension and hostility. Healthy communication and empathy, on the other hand, can strengthen our relationships.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there is a fine balance to relationships. While relationships are incredible yet complex, certain integral ingredients can guarantee you a delicious chocolate cake for a relationship.
On the topic of chocolate cake, here’s a little recipe for you! Try it out but make sure to read the instructions carefully:
BALANCED CHOCOLATE CAKE
1 and 3/4 cup communication
3/4 cup unsweetened honesty or regular Hershey's trust
1 and 1/2 teaspoons Power of friendship
1 teaspoon jealousy
2 cups granulated sugar,(14 oz | 410 g)
2 large eggs
1 cup appreciation
1/2 cup protectiveness
1 and 1/2 teaspoon communication (yes, u need more)
2 teaspoons of pure extract of quality time
1 cup boiling love
CHOCOLATE BUTTERCREAM COMMUNICATION FROSTING
4 oz communication
2/3 cup unsweetened communication, or regular HERSHEY'S communication
3 cups powdered communication
1/3 cup communication
1 teaspoon pure vanilla communication
INSTRUCTIONS
Honestly? Throw everything together and just take your time with it. The best things take time to create and nurture to their true potential. As long as there’s effort put in from both sides, this cake could be something that keeps you happy and fulfilled your entire life.
One time’s not enough so keep making this cake, keep putting in the same effort and get amazing results every time. It truly is worth it and will continue to satisfy you as time passes.
Those were a few clues to help you solve the Maze of Modern Relationships. I wish you all the best!
Comments